i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You may now shotgun with the bride
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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