I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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