Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
