I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
