She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
