i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Randomize
