Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
