i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
