brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
