Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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