I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
