Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
there was a trapeze. enough said
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
