Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Randomize
