aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
The air was thick with penises
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
