Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
