I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
