I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
