I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
