You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So much Jack, so little girl.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
