I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
