Nicole vs. Life
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
