Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Randomize
