I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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