Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
