I'm drive I can fine osifer
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize