Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was not drunk enough for that final.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
