Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
