Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You did what with his pubic hair?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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