this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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