u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
