It's like a parade of train wrecks.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
