Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
