when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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