In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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