i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
