If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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