I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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