vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
