I smell stomach acid.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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