I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
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