It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
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Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
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I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
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