It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
