I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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