**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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