Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
