so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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