he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Will exercising make me less horny?
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