I wanna passion pit in your ass
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
