Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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