i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
