JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
