Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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