So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
