He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
