Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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