I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
