bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
