We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
